FBro Day 2

Damn early today but shag.

Been dreaming of mathematical equations and input output. It feels surreal and very different from what i'm used to and im still discovering what all this means to me. though on a cosmic scale this doesnt really mean squat.

i've kinda liked science since young, always felt school was a waste of time because i didnt have any real applications to apply theories to and felt that they were unnecessarily abstracted.

guess now this excuse doesnt really hold lol. also hit me that i'm very very idealistic coz i need to like go and do stuff that i've not done for eons.

Need to optimize my own personal first principles ultimately -- and keep spending the time. i dont mind living like this actually, quite zen and nice. momentum feels nice. and it's easy too. in the sense where there's not much to worry about than what's in front of you.

i live with so many worries in my head sometimes im not even sure who i am lol. but yeah. doing one thing is great, but my context switching penalty is damn high, and my process isolation is always being interrupted by some random program (literally on my com/phone LOL)


especially with the RnD that needs to go on, the corralling of the team, the daily bizdev concerns as well as cash-flow and administrative issues. and EXAMS i forgot exams.

sometimes i wonder if i set myself up for failure, being this impatient.

why am i so afraid that when i graduate there wouldn't be any more new opportunities? I don't know actually, I'm not sure. I think its because i feel without consistent momentum or movement towards a goal i will lose steam and alot of potential energy gets wasted. it's the fear of loss of potential? the fear of loss of my team, and the fear of loss of opportunity i guess.

ive always felt that if it were to be, it sure as hell is up to me. god this is so cringe worthy. some stupid personal development seminar or what LOL.

but there's money to be made, skills to develop, and life to live. so we better get cracking.

song for the day?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1JsBhRCRH0

take it ez even though the world is burning. hahahahaha.

and i mean it. lol

(taking it easy)