My context switching penalties hurt a lot.
Like when I got my focus destroyed through the whole saga with chloe, i lost a lot of momentum in my life regarding progress in work when I dropped my integrity last saturday.
So it's been a downhill cycle ever since, and honestly i cannot say i blame her.
I can only blame myself for not watching out and being ever vigilant.
So it's been a few days worth of unconsciousness. How ironic that I am superconscious when I am forcing myself to study for my exams, and lose my space and consciousness when I adopt a more relaxed stance.
All I know is that this does not bode me well, should I continue. And it would serve me better if I sat down and started looking at the amount of schoolwork I need to do to catch up, and take total and absolute responsibility for BOTH aspects.
Once again I need to repeat to myself - to take total responsibility for both the Tech Coy and for my academics.
One excuse i keep telling myself is that my context switching penalty is very high.
Be that as it may, I cannot keep making excuses to run away from looking back at my work.
I'm afraid that looking at it, I might have forgotten all that I've done the last week -- afterall, I mass downloaded one half a textbook after this one.
I guess that's why Im procrastinating. How nice to know. Fuck.
Anyways, I still need to catch up with Spanish, get my diet in check, and do 10000 other things that have to do with the tech company, and i have a concert to go to on Saturday, an entire afternoon/evening on friday, and I just whiled away a good half of my morning.
This is why they say being disciplined is the key to everything.
Anyways, i'm going to study for 10 hours today for the misintegrity.
Jumping in, in 3...2...1-
______
Feeling as shit as ever -- seems like exams actually give me a very intense automatic push. Idk what is going on with my life right now.
URGH
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